Say Hell Yes

Earlier today I read a wonderful article on twitter. You should read it, but for the lazy/time limited ones among you, the basic premise is that if your response to something isn’t to say ‘hell yes’ then it should be a ‘no’. This may seem reactive and excessive, and at first it petrified me as I am very much the type of person who has always dwelled in the grey area. In the past I thrived on the intricacies, the confusion, the up-in-the-air aspect of the grey area.

Hell yes

But I’m starting to see that living looking for the ‘hell yes’ moments may have saved me a lot of pain and difficulty over the years.

I think about the man who constantly kept me hanging on by withholding affection and mental intimacy until I pulled away, which is when he’d drag me back in. Why did I waste so much time on someone whose reaction to me wasn’t ‘hell yes’? By staying in the grey area, I could convince myself that we had a future. I could read into the most minuscule of signs that I meant something to him. It kept me in this unhappy stasis where I couldn’t move on from him, but which meant the relationship never moved on. When I met my husband, I never doubted if he wanted to see me or be with me because his reaction to me was always a very emphatic ‘hell yes’.

I think about the friendships I helped to limp along because of a shared history and a sense of duty, when it was obvious that no one enjoyed them anymore. People change, as do priorities, and sometimes you have to accept that people who once meant a lot to you are not right for you anymore. I can think of so many of my friends who suggest meeting for coffee, or drinks, or an evening watching films at their house and I immediately think ‘hell yes’. If you have friends who get a much more lukewarm reaction, you need to think about why. If you dread seeing someone, imagine the better things you could be doing instead, or feel worse about yourself after you see them, you cannot (and should not) ignore that feeling. It’s telling you something important. My spare time is precious and since I’ve stopped making time for those who don’t deserve it, I’ve had more time for those who I learn from, who introduce me to new things, who make me feel wonderful about myself and about life.

So I’ve decided that I’m going to start applying this theory to everything in my life. Or at least trying to. I don’t want to live my life in the grey areas, from now on I am saying ‘hell yes’.

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12 Comments

  1. 8th May 2016 / 12:04 pm

    I completely agree. I think lots of us stay in relationships/jobs/friendships longer than we should because were afraid of the unknown but if your heart isn’t in something enough to think ‘Hell yes!’ then it might be time to move on (I may speak from experience…)

    • Lex
      23rd June 2016 / 6:37 pm

      Oh my god, yes! I wish I could go back and tell my younger self this. Life is too short x

    • Lex
      23rd June 2016 / 6:39 pm

      *insert preachy hands emoji* 🙂

  2. 10th May 2016 / 12:42 pm

    I want to subscribe to the school of hell yes…but perhaps not applied to the mount of ironing and hoovering I have to do. That can get in the bin while I skype my hell yes pal with a hell yes glass of pinot grigio!

    • Lex
      23rd June 2016 / 6:46 pm

      Hoovering is definitely not hell yes! I wish I’d discovered the idea of ‘hell yes’ years ago!

  3. 13th May 2016 / 8:12 am

    Ohh yeah I completely agree! Also, Mark Manson rocks.

    • Lex
      23rd June 2016 / 6:53 pm

      I’d never heard of him before, I loved this so much. Is there anything else he’s written that you’d recommend?

      • 26th June 2016 / 1:33 pm

        I mainly just follow his website, but I love him because I find his pieces are always well thought out.

  4. 21st May 2016 / 7:32 am

    This is such a good way of thinking! Unfortunately, I’m a very lazy person so “hell yes” is usually reserved for when someone asks if I want a cup of tea or piece of chocolate, rather than if they’re asking me to go out of my house haha!!

    Lu x

    • Lex
      23rd June 2016 / 6:51 pm

      I am super lazy too – my bottom and my sofa are best friends so my ‘hell yes’ is more likely to be a friend bringing round wine than going on a night out!

  5. 26th March 2017 / 3:06 pm

    Love this ‘hell yes’ post and I completely agree with you. Time is precious to waste it on people who you don’t really want to see or spend time with etc. People change, priorities change and so do friendships! Sometimes you have to just let them go.

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